Clark was so excited that his Mom had made chili for dinner. It was rare when she would break from the usual faire to do something special. He loved homemade chili, but he knew his Dad did not like eating spicy foods very often. Clark had an ironclad stomach so nothing affected him in a bad way. He walked into the kitchen and saw his Mom chopping up the chili peppers to place in the crock-pot.

"Hey Mom."

"Hi Clark. Dinner will be ready in an hour so go work on some chores. Oh, I got these peppers from Mrs. Staley; she said she is using a new organic compost with a natural mineral solution in it as a fertilizer. She swears that the peppers have never been so good. Go help your father and I'll call when it is ready."

Later after dinner Clark went up to his room to watch a movie. It turned on the TV and heard the announcer say, "Welcome to the Disney Fairy Tale marathon, hosted by the Magic Mirror, first up, Alice in Wonderland."

Clark felt sick for the first time and did not understand. It had been the best chili that he had ever eaten but he was sweating and cold at the same time. He could not help but to pass out as the fever claimed him and sent him into a slumber while the TV was still on.

"Where am I?" Clark looked around and saw that everything was in Black and White. He saw a figure coming towards him and he had could no tell what it was.

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date, no time to say `Hello, Good-bye' I'm late I'm late, I'm late."

Clark heard this being sung by a tall White Rabbit with a red waistcoat on. Clark was stunned because that was the only color he could see. "Excuse me."

"No time sir, I'm late."


"Who sir is Pete? I'm Her Majesty's Herald and I'm LATE."

"But where is HERE?"

"Here sir is where you are and if you were there then you would no longer be here." The White Rabbit was muttering and ran off, still singing his song.

Clark looked around and decided to follow the Rabbit away from the depressing and dreary place where he was. He could not run as fast as he was used to but he was able to keep the Rabbit in sight. Suddenly the White Rabbit disappeared, Clark went to the place he had last seen the Rabbit and suddenly the ground opened up and he was falling.

Clark shook his head as he cleared his mind after a fall of unknown depths. The place was strange and wild. The plants and trees having colors that he had never seen on them before. Suddenly he heard a cackle and he turned. He saw a woman on a broom flying towards him.

"You think you are so smart do you? Give it to me."

"Lana? Give what to you?"

"I know no Lana. Give me the Necklace of Eternal Beauty."

"I don't have a necklace." He looked at `Lana' and saw that she was getting uglier by the minute. `She needs the necklace.' "Where was the last place you saw it?"

"Some stupid Rabbit in a red waistcoat came and took it. Now I have to go deal with the Queen of Hearts. Mind you boy if I find that you have my necklace then I'll turn you into a Billy goat!"

Clark watched as she took off on her broom and soared into the sky. "Now what do I do?" Clark heard a laugh and looked and found that he was suddenly at a crossroad.

"Well, that way leads There and this way leads Nowhere."

"Where are you?"

"I am here and there, everywhere and nowhere."

"That makes sense. Can I see you?"

In front of Clark at large orange cat materialized. "Garfield?"

"No, I'm the Cheshire Cat. Now, which way do you choose?"

"Can I have more information?" Suddenly Clark heard a piercing scream and moved up the road. He saw a house and heard the scream again. Clark ran towards the house.

"Sometimes the choices make you." He heard the Cat say as he ran down the path to There.

Clark ran to the house and through the door open and saw a woman in the large kitchen screaming. "Are you okay?"

"Who are you and WHAT are you doing here?"

Clark looked at the lady, "Mom?"

"I am not your MOTHER. I am to be addressed as Duchess or Your Grace. Who are YOU?"

"I'm Clark."

"What is a Clark?"

Clark looked at her. This whole place made no sense to him at all. "Clark is me and why were you screaming?"

"All the pies have been burnt and Her Majesty does not like burnt pie."

Just then a figure burst through the door. "Is everything okay Your Grace?"

"This Clark came in while I'm trying to make Her Majesty's pies."

"Are you disturbing the Duchess?"

Clark looked at the figure. "Whitney?"

"Whitney? What is a Whitney? I am the Knight in Shining Armor. Can't you tell? Plainly you are blank in the head. I'll have to take you to the Hatter. They are all Mad over there. Come on, I've a schedule to keep. I'm due to rescue some Maid from a Dragon before Mid-Sundown."


"No time, I have to meet with Prince Charming before Night Fall so we can have a roll in the hay. Come on, its not your birthday is it?"


"Pity, the Hatter and the Door Mouse with sing a dreadful song for hours."

"But I was following the Rabbit and got lost and this Witch said something about a necklace..."

"Well none of that is your concern. Are you a hero? Do you have one of these?" The Knight pulled out a rolled parchment that said Royal Certificate of the Academy of Heroes; Knight in Shining Armor. "You can't go rescuing or chasing without one of these. Come on, if I don't save the Maid then I won't have time for a pint with the fellows before the Prince and I have some fun."


"Is that all Clarks say is 'but'?" The Knight guides Clark out of the Duchess' house and they still hear her screaming about ruined pies. "Tell you what, the Hatter will make you Mad if you weren't before. Go down the road and talk to the Caterpillar, he knows everything. He is a bit much, talks in circles, likes to hear himself talk is what I think. He'll tell you where to find your Rabbit. He might know about the necklace. Leave the Witch alone; she is mean when she is ugly. She loses her necklace all the time. Also avoid the Queen, she is very curious but EVERYTHING has to be HER way. I'm off to rescue the Maid. If you want, ask the Caterpillar about the pub. I'll buy you a pint. You may be daft but you're a handsome fellow."

Clark blushed at the complement and his head was spinning at all that the Knight had said. He heard more yelling and decided to leave before more people came to check on the Duchess. He walked and saw a giant mushroom, it was taller than him and his was fairly tall. He noticed the enormous Caterpillar sitting on top of the mushroom.

"WHOOOO RRRRR UUUUUU?" asked the Caterpillar, while exhaling smoke from an oversized bong. Clark had seen a bong at a party once before but his parents had taught him to say No. He looked up and noticed that the face looked like his Dad's but he already knew better than to ask.

"I'm Clark, the Knight told me to come see you in order to find the White Rabbit."


Clark coughed as he was engulfed in a cloud of smoke. "I want to go home but I followed the Rabbit and then this Witch..."



"It would have to be THHHEEEERRRRE since it can't be NOWHERE, now CAN IT! Beware Maleficent, he collects BOYS such as UUUUUUUUU" The Caterpillar exhaled a huge cloud of smoke that engulfed Clark, causing him to cough.

"Now what?" but Clark noticed that the Caterpillar was no longer there. He looked down the road and he was on the path to There and began to march down the path. After what felt like days he came to a clearing and saw the Knight.

"Did you rescue the Maid?"

"Oh yes and now I am off to meet the Prince. He is a fair prince, bald and yummy."


"Yes, do all Clarks have problems speaking? I must be off. If you need food, the tavern is around the bend." With that the Knight took off but Clark decided to follow. He soon saw the Knight enter a tower. He noticed that there was another horse outside, grazing. Clark climbed the steps and soon saw Lex and Whitney kissing even though it was a Prince and a Knight. Clark could not tear his eyes away but me tried to move closer and the stairs fell away and he was falling again.

"So you are spying on the fair Prince and his Guardian."

Clark saw a tall man dressed in long flowing black robes and horns on his head. "No."

"Liar. You have trespassed and thus are subject to ME. You will go and steal the Necklace of Eternal Beauty. Thus the Witch will turn ever uglier and blame the Queen of Hearts. Ah, it will do my Evil Heart good to see that war. I have followed you since you arrived, Clark. Your reward will be the fair Prince. He is due to fall into a dreamless sleep. The Knight would be the one to rescue him but I will let you. All I require is the Necklace. It is either that or stay here and suffer. Or should I send you to the Hatter, he is quite mad and will drive anyone insane after a few days of that endless 'Unbirthday' song. Your choice, the Prince or madness."

"I feel mad enough as it is," Clark replied, scrubbing at his forehead with one hand. Yet he realized that he had no choice but to ride the flow of events. This had to be some whacked out dream and he was sure to wake up from it soon.

The man in flowing black robes leered. "Make your decision Clark. The Prince or the Hatter?"

Clark sighed. "The Prince," he replied. Like there was any other choice? "So...who has the Necklace?"

"The White Rabbit," said the man in the flowing black robes, looked like Lex's father but Clark could not be sure.

"Any chance that you might point me in the right direction to find him?" Clark queried, without much hope. But even as he asked his surroundings melted away and Clark found himself lying in a field of yellow and green plaid daisies. As fond as Clark was of plaid, he winced. Yellow and green plaid was a fashion faux pas that even he could not ignore. Rising to his feet, Clark dusted off his jeans and looked around. No sign of the White Rabbit anywhere. He was about to super speed off to look for the creature when he heard a cry for help or rather, a scream.

A flash of darkness and a whoosh of air from overhead sent Clark back down on the ground amid the plaid daisies. He looked up and gasped. Hovering above him was a huge, pink flying creature. A few blinks of disbelief later and Clark realized that he was staring at a gigantic Dragon. A cotton candy pink colored Dragon. A Dragon with someone clutched in one, taloned paw. Clark gasped again as he recognized the Dragon's prize, the bald prince.

"Help me!" the Prince shouted.

"Uh...sure," Clark replied, scrambling to his feet. Wasn't sure what he was supposed to do against a dragon the size of a 747, but Clark was good at thinking on his feet. "Let the Prince go!" Clark shouted at the beast and only then thought to wonder if the creature would understand him.

The pink Dragon fluttered to the ground, landing with a ground shaking THUD, and glared at Clark. "Make me!" it hissed at Clark.

That answered that Clark mused. Then he shrugged and strode forward, intent on freeing the Prince. "All right, I will," he declared only to feel himself blasted with roaring flames. Clark's knees buckled and he almost keeled over. Not from the force of the blast or even the heat, both of which he was immune to, but from the stench of the dragon's breath. Whatever the beast had eaten last or, more to the point whoever, must have rotted between its teeth.

"You are... still alive," the Prince whispered, as the smoke cleared and he saw the stranger still standing.

"Yep, still alive," Clark confirmed, striding closer. Now he was pissed. He glared at the Dragon. "This is the last time I'm going to ask nicely," Clark snapped. "Let the Prince GO!"

"No." The Dragon snarled and made to swipe at Clark with his tail only to yelp in pain as an iron fist connected with his nose. The pain was intense and the Dragon dropped the Prince to clutch his throbbing flesh in both paws. "You...you hit me!" the Dragon blubbered and giant tears rolled down its scaly flesh. Tears that turned to diamonds as they hit the ground, diamonds as big as Clark's fist.

The Prince ignored the diamonds; he was rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams anyway. His attention was fully focused on his rescuer. "Are you a Knight?" The Prince queried the boy, a very big and yummy boy.

Clark shook his head, trying hard not to stare at the diamonds scattered at his feet. Absently noted that the Dragon was skulking away, still weeping and whining, but his attention was focused on the Prince's nearness. Up close he was mesmerizing. "No...not a Knight," Clark whispered. "I'm just...um...Clark."

"Clark," the Prince repeated, happily. "A Clark is quite beautiful. Exquisitely so, I do love beautiful things. I shall bring you home with me."

"Oh," Clark said, then realized that as tempting as that was, he had to refuse. "Um...actually I'm on a mission," Clark stated, then he squeaked as the Prince pinched his ass. "I...I have to find the Necklace of Eternal Beauty and..."

"SILENCE!" Roared a voice that startled Clark and the Prince.

The Prince removed his hand from Clark's fine ass and made a face as he turned to stare at the Royal Law Maker. He hated the little twerp.

"What do you want?" The Prince demanded, in full Princely mode.

Clark stared between the Prince and the newcomer who was on horseback. Looked like he was riding a lavender colored horse. Clark couldn't hide a grin. His own Lex loved lavender so at least that made some sort of sense. Then the grin faded as Clark realized that the newcomer looked like Principal Kwan and couldn't shake the feeling that he was in some kind of trouble.

"Maybe I'd better go," Clark suggested and began sidling off only to find himself surrounded by a dozen men on lavender horses. They looked like they were wearing white togas. Each had a bracelet on their right wrist and in the middle of each bracelet was a glowing green stone the size of a quarter. Clark felt a sudden rush of dizziness, followed by nausea and fell to his knees.

"He broke the law," said the Royal Law Maker, as if Clark had never spoken. Glaring at the Prince the Royal Law maker continued. "He rescued you without a Royal Certificate from the Academy of Heroes."

The Prince heaved sigh. "He saved my life you buffoon! The Prince looked over at the Clark and saw that the beautiful boy looked ill. "Take him to the castle at once!" The Prince would take care of his new possession.

The Royal Law Maker wasn't happy but he nodded at the Prince and gestured to one of his men to pick up the stranger. "To the castle with him" commanded the Royal Law Maker.

"Wait!" Clark protested weakly as a giant of a man approached him. He felt himself swept up into beefy arms and it was a strange sensation. Clark wasn't used to being carried about as if he weighed no more than a feather. That was his last thought as the green stone touched him and darkness claimed him.

Clark looked around and saw the Knight standing near him.

"You Clarks don't listen very well do you? The Dragon has filed a protest with his union and the Prince is in trouble with the Law Maker."

"Where am I?"

"Well you are now Here which is known as There everywhere else. I told you that you needed a Royal Certificate before you could go off rescuing anyone."


"You are fond of that word. The Prince told me that you are here and I told him that I've already had the honor of meeting you. You however are in a great deal of trouble. The Union of Magical Creatures is taking a protest to the High King. The Prince in turn has filed with the Society for Royal and Noble Personages that the Dragon was unnecessarily rough."

"I'm confused."

"I should have left you with the Hatter. On top of all that the Witch is claiming that the Queen of Hearts is cheating."

"The mean guy with horns told me to steal the Necklace of Eternal Beauty."



"Do Clarks not pay attention? The Caterpillar told you to avoid him."

"Well, I...um...well...I saw you...and um...followed and um...well...I saw you and um, the Prince."

"AH, you were caught spying. You are now beholden to him. What was the deal?"

"The Prince or the Hatter."

"You choose the Prince and the Quest?"

"To get the Necklace for him."

The Knight sat down next to Clark and placed an arm around his shoulder. "You are in very deep trouble. The High King hates Maleficent and you now work for him. You must steal the Necklace and give it as a gift to the King."


"You really should be with the Hatter. The Door Mouse knows more than you do. Maleficent cursed the land and people are stuck with their jobs. The Necklace is now shared between former best friends, the Witch and the Queen of Hearts. The Queen gets mean and orders peoples' heads chopped off for any reason. Those of us in Guilds and Unions are immune but many a flamingo has departed because of her wrath. The Necklace makes the Queen nice and mellow but makes the Witch ugly. When the Witch is pretty then the Queen is mean. It is all very bad for us."

"So if I give the Necklace to the King then what?"

"I don't know, it has never been done before. That Rabbit lives in fear of the Queen and the Witch has some evil munchkin that serves her. His curse is to make sure the Mirror is telling the truth. That mirror lies you know."

"Actually I don't."

"You are very pretty but very dense, if the Prince had not begged then you would be with the Hatter."

There is a loud ringing and much screaming. The Knight sighed, "The March Hare is running loose again. He and the Rabbit had a falling out. The Hatter hides the Hare but the Hare likes to torment the Rabbit, it is all so sad. "

The Knight stood as the Prince walked into the room. The Prince kissed the Knight and then turned to Clark. "You sir, are a trouble maker. The Dragon has a broken snout and can not breath fire right now."


"Highness, that is his favorite word, just to warn you."

"Thank you, he is pretty but not all there. You Clark." The Knight is tapping his shoulder, "What!"

"Sire, he is a servant of the Bastardly One."

The Prince throws his hands in the air, "Of course, what better way to create chaos than to piss off the crybaby Dragon. You know the Duchess is blaming him for the ruined pies."


"I told you that was his favorite word."

"Hush, you Clark, how is it you serve the Bastardly One?"

"He wants the Necklace."

"You mentioned the Necklace before..."

Trumpets blaring interrupted the Prince and into the room came a fairy that looked like Tinker Bell.

"Your Highness, His Royal Majesty, the High King, commands you to attend Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts this afternoon to play a game of croquet. This is to be your punishment for interfering with the Royal Law Maker!" With that Tinker Bell departed and the trumpets stopped blaring.

Clark looked confused. "I'm confused."

"Yes, we know but don't worry your pretty little head. Highness what shall we do?"

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!" came a roaring shout that echoed off the walls.

The Prince suddenly turned three shades of green. "Great, the Witch now has the Necklace which means the Queen will be bitchy."

The Prince turned and kissed the Knight. "We go to play croquet. Bring the Clark with you. He is already in trouble and we may learn where the Necklace has gone off to."

"It has gone as it will up a river or down a hill." Suddenly the voice had a face and the Knight and Prince groaned as the Cheshire Cat came into view.

The Prince looked at Clark, "I take it you know this scoundrel."

Clark grabbed the Cat and looked at the Prince, "He helped me when there was no one around."

"Kindly put me down. I'm not a housecat, I'm a Cheshire Cat!" Clark dropped him.

"Fine bring the Cat but he is to remain silent while I am playing croquet. I have a feeling that His Majesty has removed my exemption from beheading today." The Prince turned to the Knight and kissed him again. "Please rescue me if it becomes necessary. And watch the Clark, he must stay out of trouble but with friends like that..."

"Yes Sire."

The party walked out of the large room and suddenly Clark was overwhelmed by the blue roses being painted red. "What is going on?"

"The Queen's gardeners never plant the right color roses. We think the Witch has placed a spell that all the roses will bloom any other color but red."

Suddenly the Knight stopped talking as the party came to the end of the walkway that lead to the gardens for croquet. A trumpet note rang out to silence the crowd.

"His Royal Highness, Prince Charming; The Knight in Shining Armor; er..." the Herald turned to the Prince and the Knight and in a low voice, "Who is he?"

The Prince turned and whispered, "He is a Clark and his furry friend."

"What friend?"

"Never mind."

The Herald cleared his throat and continued, "and a Clark."

The Prince walked over to large gathering and Clark saw the Queen of Hearts for the first time. "CHLOE?"

The Knight elbowed Clark in the ribs. "Hush! The Queen will order your head cut off and the Prince likes your head attached as do I." He then ran a hand through Clark's hair.

"AH, Prince Charming, His Majesty told me that you were playing today." Said the Queen of Hearts as strolled towards the Prince. Her blond hair was cropped short and going in many directions but the crown on her head and the dress full of red hearts signaled to all her title. "Hello Sir Knight come to take up the task of bringing me back my Necklace?"

"My Lady, you know that is not a task to which I can be appointed. I serve the Prince and rescue Maids, I do not steal items of questionable ownership."


"My Lady you know that my status with the Heroes Guild precludes me from your authority to have my head chopped off.."

"Well then, Shall we proceed with the game Prince Charming?"

The Prince groaned at Clark and the Knight before walking over to see who went first.

"Is anyone else playing today, Majesty?"

"Yes, we wait for the Mad Hatter and the March Hare."

The Prince heard many of the surrounding nobles begin to swear and mutter. The singing started and Clark suddenly knew why people were sentenced to the Hatter.



The Hatter and the March Hare approached the Queen, "GOOOOOD afternoon Majesty, would you care for a cup of tea?"

"No, grab your flamingo so we can play."

Suddenly the Duchess came running up the Queen and threw herself at the Queen's feet. "Oh, the horror! Majesty please spare my head."

The Queen pulled back and hit the Hatter with her flamingo. "Get her a cup of tea! Now my Lady, what is the trouble?"

"All the pies are ruined."


"That horrid munchkin that serves the Witch came and stole the pies, all I have left are the ones HE ruined!" The Duchess was pointing at Clark.

"But..." Again Clark received an elbow in the ribs.

The Queen exploded, "I want his head cut off NOW!!!"

Suddenly out of the sky came an ancient looking hag. "Give me the Necklace. Look at me, I'm horrid." The Witch marched towards the Queen. Many of the courtiers winced and turned at the approaching hag.

The Queen snarled at the Witch. "I have not the Necklace! Where is the White Rabbit?!"

The White Rabbit came out of the crowd, nervous and shaking so much that his teeth were chattering and his pocket watch was bouncing up and down. "Yes, Majesty?"

"Where is the Necklace?"

"It is missing Majesty, the last time I know I had it I was stopped by him." The White Rabbit was pointing at Clark.

The Mad Hatter and the March Hare started to swing each other around claiming it was time for tea. The Prince walked up to Clark. "Do you have the Necklace?"

"I don't even know what it looks like."

The Queen and the Witch started yelling at Clark as did the Duchess and the White Rabbit. The Knight and the Prince were trying to stop everyone when the croquet field became a courtroom.

"The Trial of the Clark will now begin, His Royal Majesty, The High King, presiding." proclaimed Tinker Bell.

Clark looked over and was stunned, "Mickey Mouse?"

The High King looked at Clark, "Silence, you have not been called upon to give testimony. The Royal Prosecutor may now proceed."

Clark noted that the Caterpillar was the Prosecution and he was still smoking from his bong and he also had a burning joint.

"The Prosecution shall refrain from smoking in the courtroom, it puts the jury to sleep. That also goes for the Dragons in the room. Proceed."

"Majesty, Your Majesty's Government calls Prince Charming to the witness stand."

The Prince stood up, "I object Majesty, I am the counsel for the defense."

"Get on the stand and WE still demand you play croquet with the Queen. She is allowed to beat you with a flamingo as often as she wishes."


"Enough, the Clark serves me and the Necklace is mine."

Clark groaned as the Bastardly One waltzed into the room.

"Maleficent you are not welcome here."

"Shut up Mouse! Clark, where is my Necklace? With the Necklace I can become the most Magnificent thing in the Magic Kingdom. ALL will flock to me and worship me and my evilness. Where is the Necklace?"

"I don't have it and I don't know."

"Majesty I move that the Clark's statement be stricken from the record. The Bastardly One can not ask questions when it is my turn."

"Isn't it past time for you to become a butterfly?"


Clark suddenly saw the Cheshire Cat appear in his lap. "The Necklace has been everywhere and nowhere, all around and up and down."

Clark looked at the Cat and smiled, "Can I please have it?" He looked down and the Cat was coughing up a hair ball. Meanwhile the Mad Hatter and the March Hare started to sing to the White Rabbit while the Witch and the Queen kept slapping at each other. The High King was yelling for order and the Prince was trying to get at the Bastardly One for kissing his Knight. The Dragon started crying again when one of the Duchess' burnt pies hit him in the snout. No one was paying any attention to the Caterpillar while he consumed the remaining burnt pies. Clark grimaced as he reached and saw the necklace with a glowing purple stone. "I HAVE IT!!!"

Everyone stopped and Maleficent roared, "GIVE IT TO ME BOY AND ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE."

"No, here you go Your Majesty, I'll place my trust in the Prince and the Knight."

Clark handed the Necklace of Eternal Beauty to the High King. The High King giggled and the stone glowed very bright and vanished.

"The spell is broken because of a selfless act. All hail the Cheshire Cat as a hero."


"Maleficent, your powers of evil are broken and are sentenced to endure tea daily with the Hatter and Hare. Also, you have to clean up in here, look at the mess. My Lord Prince Charming, you and the Knight in Shining Armor are named Crown Prince and Royal Champion. You White Rabbit, it is now your job to rescue the Maids of the Kingdom. You Clark may go do whatever it is that Clarks do. My Lady Queen of Hearts, I'll assume you and the Witch can be friends again. I'm tired and someone wake the Caterpillar, he snores much too loudly."

Clark watched as everyone began to file out of the room. He noticed that the Cheshire Cat was now a Foxy lady and was having fun with the White Rabbit. The Queen and the Witch were laughing together but most importantly he saw The Prince and the Knight kissing deeply. Clark began to cry because the Prince was his to love.

"I could have granted him to you forever had you given me the Necklace. Now the Prince will rule as Regent and the Knight will be at his side, forever."

Clark woke with a start. He looked and realized the whole thing had been a dream. He was covered in sweat and his heart was beating rapidly. He remembered seeing Whitney kiss Lex and even though it was not Whitney or Lex, Clark was jealous. He looked at his alarm clock and saw that it was already in the early afternoon. `Oh no!' Clark rushed around and threw some clothes on. He ran downstairs and saw his parents look up at him.

"Are you okay honey? We could not get you to wake-up and you were moaning and thrashing about."

"No Mom, I have to...I mean...I..."

"Clark, son, calm down."

"NO! You don't understand...I mean, they kissed and he already has...and No...I...He can't have him!"

Martha and Jonathan were staring at each other as they listened to Clark babble and as he acted frantic in the kitchen.

"I'm mean he has Lana and...and...Lex is mine!"

"Clark, what did you say?"

"No time Dad! I'll be back...he can't have everyone I want it's not fair!" Clark ran out the door oblivious to his parents' calls.

Clark got to the Talon and his mouth dropped open. He saw Whitney and Lex sitting close to each other and they were laughing! `NO!' Clark saw Lana, Chloe, and Pete sitting at the same table but Clark could not stop as he walked into the talon and right up to Lex.

"You can't be with him! He...he won't love you like I can." Clark hauled Lex to his feet and kissed him.

Clark noticed that Lex was kissing him back and he moaned. When he pulled away he saw Whitney smiling like a loon and three shocked faces.

"It is about time you did that. I was about to go after him if you didn't catch a clue!" Whitney said with a laugh.

Lex ruffled Clark's hair, "What made you do that?"

Clark realized that he had kissed Lex in public and had come out to his parents. "I had a dream that you and Whitney were together. Pete had the Cat and Lana and Chloe were best friends but...you and I belong together."

Lex smiled at Clark and kissed him again. "Glad you finally see it. Even the quarterback here saw it and that is what we were talking about."


"I have a gay cousin, like I said, if you didn't make a move soon I was going to."

"No, Lex is mine, you can have any one else."

"It's cool Clark. I don't think I'm ready to date a guy just yet."

Clark smiled at him and turned to Lex and kissed him again and they lived happily ever after.

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Disclaimer information: Don't own them, just have fun with them.
Each story may contain or does contain explicit NC-17 material. You have been warned.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a silly fic.